Third week’s a charm.
“Did you ask her to be your girlfriend yet?” my sibling asked.
“No!” I said, mortified. “It’s been a week.”
“But you like her, don’t you?”
“Shut up shut up shut up!”
I did like her, but I was preparing myself to die. I was already drowning, how could I pull her into the water with me?
Three weeks and I could no longer help myself. The immensity of the crush made scaring her away a horrible prospect, and made me want to be even closer to her. The guilt pounded into me like nails.
So I asked.
So…I feel like I really relate well to you and think about you a lot. Would you ever be interested in maybe being girlfriends? I like you but I don’t want you to worry about hurting my feelings. If that definitely is something you don’t want, that is understandable and I won’t be offended. But I feel like I have never connected as well with anyone else, even my best friend. ……ok gonna hit send now before I hit backspace.
She was open to the idea, but not yet.
Expecting immediate rejection, I wasn’t prepared for a maybe. Or for when that maybe turned into a yes.
Post 9 in Socially Unacceptable: The Daily Life of a Queer Schizophrenic Wreck (2022)
This is an autobiographical series about my life, something I have wanted to do for a long time. I intend to add new content daily.
For the whole series, follow this link.
The Queer Schizophrenic 