“It was such a romantic affair/And as we kissed and/Said goodnight/A nightingale sang in Berkeley Square” – A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square, Tori Amos
In my brain, our first kiss would have the setting predetermined, plenty of warning, and I would have days to prepare. So why was I thinking about it so much?
Some of you might remember that I did several posts on how I am biromantic but don’t enjoy typical romantic things. The paragraph written below was in an earlier article called Characters I 100% Ship Despite Never Wanting a Relationship Like Theirs.
I don’t like the typical lovey-dovey stuff that most couples think is romantic. You know, the hand-holding, kissing, cuddling, drama, passion, etc. I consider myself biromantic, but the kind of romance I want is very unconventional. Writing together, editing each other’s work, sharing music, having meals together, watching stuff together, having conversations late into the night…that’s my kinda romance.
I very smartly based this off of the single experience I had with kissing a guy I didn’t like romantically. Despite the fact that I had wondered what it would be like to kiss Afina, the girl I was head over heels in love with in college.
I don’t remember who brought it up, but we were sitting on Marie’s bed. I told her she would have to initiate the kiss because I had no idea how to actually kiss. My first kiss had been me frozen in place while the guy kissed me.
We waited an agonizingly long thirty minutes because she wanted a definitive answer about whether I wanted her to kiss me, and I was too embarrassed to give a straight answer.
Then she kissed me. And, surprising both of us, I kissed her back. We kissed like ten times that day. And by that I mean ten times before I initiated kissing her, which I did that evening.
Um…and yeah. I guess kissing is not gross if you like the person.
Post 30 in Socially Unacceptable: The Daily Life of a Queer Schizophrenic Wreck (2022)
This is an autobiographical series about my life, something I have wanted to do for a long time. I intend to add new content daily.
For the whole series, follow this link.
The Queer Schizophrenic 