“Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other’s character before marriage, which is never advisable.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest
There were five proposals leading up to this. First one was me proposing to Marie when she was suicidal. That time she said she needed to think about it. Second was when she proposed to me while I felt like I was dying of Covid-19, and I said the most emphatic yes possible. But then we decided we couldn’t be “officially” engaged until we had at least met in person. Nonetheless, I started wearing a promise ring, and kept switching it to a less obvious finger when I was around my family.
The third one was actually in person. Marie used the new name I had chosen, Sable, and proposed again. We picked rings from her stash of family heirlooms. My brain broke again. But we decided it was still early to tell family.
On October 30th we decided, screw it, who cares what my family thinks about the timeline? Because we’d both proposed already.
I have this issue where when I want to say something, my mouth sometimes just fails to muster the words. I managed to say that I wanted to propose to her again, but then froze, unable to move and only managing to stutter.
So she proposed to show me how it was done. I…don’t think that was the best way to cure my inability to speak. My brain full-on melted as I said yes again.
It took about two hours for me to actually manage a proposal. At least it felt that long. I knelt and got her attention. But her eyes on me were too much. I kissed her hand and hid my face, then managed to squeak out a proposal in a pitch that was much higher than usual.
She said yes.
Afterwards she said she meant to say yes immediately, but her own brain had melted. I don’t think I even noticed that she hesitated for a second because my body was trying to decide whether or not to pass out.
We took pictures of our overlapped hands with our rings.
And then for the fun part. We informed our friend groups and family. Some were like hey, congratulations. Others said it was too fast.
And then there were my parents, who misunderstood the message and picture entirely. We were both wearing rings. In a traditional proposal, the guy gives a ring to the girl. But since Marie’s a girl and I am agender, we both decided to wear rings.
My parents freaked out. They thought we were married. I also didn’t realize that was what they thought right away, so when my dad asked if it was official, I said yes.
And then I figured it out. They were relieved when I said I was just engaged. They reacted better to it than they probably would have if they hadn’t thought we were married.
The wedding is planned to be in Spring or Summer of 2024.
Post 36 in Socially Unacceptable: The Daily Life of a Queer Schizophrenic Wreck (2022)
This is an autobiographical series about my life, something I have wanted to do for a long time. I intend to add new content daily.
For the whole series, follow this link.
The Queer Schizophrenic 